week two

Ooh buddy, we are having a rough week. Maybe last week was a tease, or maybe just a slow, easy transition into the new way of life--things went pretty smoothly, I felt fairly confident that we'd at least survive the next year. This week is just not going as well. I think the kids are tired of being cooped up--Bennett has been fussy and not sleeping well, Fletcher isn't eating and is his usual loud, cranky self, and Cameron's flat-out crazy. Short naps, crappy appetites, cold weather...bad combination.

Actually, it wasn't too cold yesterday. It was nice out! We got to go outside to play for a bit and that was wonderful. But the kids were still wound up, they threw lunch around and got in trouble for it (Cam had to vacuum up the mess and Fletch helped carry things to the table), both took kind of short naps, and the baby was pretty fussy and not sleeping well (which is totally unlike him and I think coffee was to blame). He finally settled around 9:30p and slept until 1:45a, which is amazing for him! He did okay the rest of the night, too, but I woke at 4:30 smelling something funny, and after a good search realized the sump pump was overheating in the basement. Yay! Not a good start to our day.

It was cold again today, and windy, and a preschool day. I really hate preschool days now. It is just no fun getting them all there and back...twice. And all for less than 2.5 hours of 'school'! I hate having to take Bennett in and out in the cold, and we walk so slowly because of no-sense-of-urgency Fletcher; sometimes I carry him in under my arm, but that's no easy feat when he's kicking joyously and I only have one hand with which to hold him (as the other is full of baby). Then I get them all back into the car with muddy, wet shoes, go back and forth to get them all buckled, race home before B starts crying...gah. Today I only had Bennett for pick-up, as a friend stayed home with Fletcher for me, which was nice. I think I'm going to arrange for a car buddy, someone to sit with my car (or I'll sit with theirs) while I run in to pick the kids up. I'm very thankful I only have to worry about Tuesdays, since a friend is going to handle drop-off and pick-up for Cam on Thursdays.

So really, things haven't been so bad--just frustrating. We are still figuring things out, how our days will progress now, so things just aren't running as smoothly as before. That gets overwhelming. Energetic kids, cranky baby, tired mama. I'm bound to feel a little frazzled, right? That's a good word for it. I just feel tense and disorganized and like there's just a little too much going on, and not enough time in the day. And at the same time, the day drags on, especially once everyone is up from nap...I feel like 5:45p (when Daddy gets home) can't get here fast enough. There's no 'pause' button for the hyper, sassy four-year-old, the toddler can never get enough snacks or time being carried, and doing everything one-handed (babe-in-arms!) gets exhausting!

Bennett has been napping for the last two hours and he really needed it. He was up a little early this morning (thanks to his hungry brothers bursting into the room asking for blueberries) and didn't settle down to nap until almost lunch time! That is just way too much awake time for him, but he was over-tired, not wanting to close those eyes and sleep. He'd doze off for a few minutes but it never lasted. Now that he's had a nice nap, I'm hoping he'll be a little happier this afternoon. He isn't crying or anything, he is just squirmy and grunty and can't be set down for anything--then he cries, and he works right into the screeches, doesn't bother with fussing.

It was great to see friends yesterday and today--the kids got a bit of distraction, got to play with their little buddies, and I got to talk to my friends and eat a tasty lunch. Very refreshing, and fun. I'm excited about being able to get out more in the coming weeks--not a lot, as I know that would be just as overwhelming as staying home all the time, and I still don't want to drag Bennett out into the cold, to a bunch of germy places where he'll get sick. But once a week if we could get to COSI or Firefly or a friend's house and have some fun, I think we would all benefit from the change in scenery.

I wish we could get out and play somewhere this afternoon, but I don't see that happening. I need to be better about planning activities for the big boys, especially for these long, restless afternoons. They just wind up getting into trouble, loud and picking at each other, egging each other on. They are usually hungry, but feeding them too much at snack means they won't eat dinner. I'm sure they are also just bored. Cam doesn't listen, does stuff he knows he shouldn't do (doesn't share, moves furniture [yes, seriously], talks back and says 'no,' runs around and yells while watching TV [TV goes off!]), and lately, Fletch is the same! Boy, does that child ever have trouble listening and following directions. He is into everything, and is just learning to say 'no' and to ignore me when I call him. And as much as I hate just repeating myself over and over again, I don't move as fast right now, I can't get there and physically remove him from the top of the end table, so I feel like we're all on repeat all day, I'm saying the same thing over and over and they're doing the same things over and over. They need more stimulation, so I've got to work on that.

Crafts are fun, but can be messy, and I don't really have the ability to clean up a big paint mess with a fussy baby to tend to. They like playdough, so that's always an option. Sometimes they'll sit for a TV show, or even a movie. My intention is to 'schedule' our day out to be a little more predictable--we usually eat and nap at the same times every day, but it would be helpful to also have scheduled computer time, TV time, craft time, time to work on Cam's letters (oh, how behind we are in that!), etc.

I try to send them both up to their rooms for 30 minutes every morning for 'alone play,' and that has been working out really well. Cameron gets to play with his toys alone, without Fletcher messing up his games or knocking over his block towers, plus it helps him learn to play alone and use his imagination and not always rely on me to direct the play (he got into this bad habit a while back, would not play alone to save his life!). Fletcher sits in his crib with books, blocks, toy animals, and sometimes a snack, but usually just chooses to sit quietly with his blanket and look out the window. He needs that time alone to wind down a little. I enjoy the quiet...no one whining for a snack, no one needing wiped off, no screaming boys fighting over toys (OH, the noise they make!). Just me and the baby, picking up around the house, throwing laundry in, checking email, and recharging a bit with some snuggles.

I know we'll figure things out. I know we'll have good days, and bad days. Doesn't everyone? I'm trying to be patient--with myself, and with the kids. I'm not the only one affected by this change in routine! I'm not the only one readjusting. We just have to take things day by day. And maybe I'll set my expectations a little lower. ;)